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1. Grieve. 2. Allow yourself to feel. Don't suppress. Don't repress. FEEL. 3. Love yourself. Honor your feelings. 4. Concentrate and focus on yourself, your boundaries, your health, your wealth, your joy, your life... 5. Forgive yourself. Forgive them. Don't take others' behavior so damn personally. (They're fucked. They have their own traumas and issues.) Every family has a person who breaks the chains of poverty and trauma... I AM that person! The only thing I'm giving up on in my life: is the need for specific conditions to be met, in order for me to be RADICALLY HONEST. RADICAL HONESTY is my modus operandi. JOY IS MY PURPOSE. YESHUA IS MY GUIDING LIGHT. 1. Decide who you want to be and BECOME THAT 2. FIRM/CLEAR/DIRECT boundaries. Consequences for those who don't respect them. 3. Cut out ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that doesn't serve your health and your wealth 4. Take action everyday toward your ideal life/reality 5. Gratitude 6. Master your mind/emotions (do not be a slave to these)! YOU ARE THEIR MASTER! 7. Keep your promises. Treat yourself like the Queen that you are. 8. Learn (and ultimately master) new HEALTHY skills 9. UNDERSTAND: not every man is built to see your value. They are not all capable nor able. 10. Be confident and authentic 11. Create peace around you, and within you 12. NEVER EVER accept anything/anyone that disrespects you and your boundaries 13. Be open to correction and growth and evolution 14. Be the woman God wants you to be and has created you to be A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period. So... If he ignores me I will step back and he will lose me. I don’t play any of these childish abusive controlling mind-games. I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me, and treats me as the Queen that I AM. Because I am a beautiful and kind and sexy and wise and magical woman: who knows my worth. Period. Whenever you are alone, remind yourself that GOD has sent everyone else away, so that there is only you and him... Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you. YOU ARE THE UNIVERSE IN ECSTATIC MOTION, BABY! Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes... For those who love with their heart and soul there is no such thing as separation. You have to keep breaking your own heart until it opens (It is only then, that GOD can truly totally completely fully enter)! Our greatest strength lies in the gentleness and tenderness of our heart. --- Rumi You are constantly being re-born, re-created, re-generated, every moment. No belief is contained, held, or stored anywhere. It might cause a cascade that brings a symptom, breathing patterns, somewhere in the body, but the concepts, thoughts, and stories are constantly being re-created. You are generating it ALL, and this is unconscious. You can change in an instant!!! Every morning you wake up, your life story is re-constructed. Do I have to wake up believing reality is the way I believed it was yesterday? When breathing is restricted, get curious about what is holding it back, when it is open get curious about why that is... YOU are the Artist! Awareness of something alone IS enough, it untangles itself, the knots let go of you. Choose Freedom, take responsibility for your own suffering. AFFIRM ♡ - I have extreme supernatural beauty - I am supernaturally beautiful and gorgeous and sexy - Every day, I am grateful for my own unique beauty - I am perfect, and my beauty is incomparable - My soul shines, reflecting my inner and outer beauty - I respect my body and cherish it as the embodiment of my unique beauty - I am bold and beautiful, just as I am - Every time I smile, I let my beauty shine to the world - My beauty is not defined by others, but by how I feel about myself - I honor myself and my body and my life

When a broken/damaged/immature/abusive man is using a woman, he’ll show these signs: - he avoids truly deep and emotionally vulnerable conversations - he's inconsistent - he only contacts you (connects with you) when he needs/wants something - he doesn't REALLY include you in his life (it's all an illusion/fantasy) - he avoids commitments/labels - he makes you feel guilty/crazy/needy - he doesn't truly support you or your goals (in any real and tangible way) So, If he pulls away, give him a push... Let him go! When he pulls away, he can stay away, it's over! It is complete. 1) Never EVER be afraid of losing him. You are the Divine feminine. Let him fear losing YOU! 2) Have an EXTREMELY low tolerance for ANY bad behavior... AVOIDANT or NARCISSIST? Let's be real. It's irrelevant. They both behave the same. The damage they do is the same. The trauma they cause is the same. FUCK THEM BOTH. So, When there’s a disagreement, an argument, a conflict, some bullying, disrespect, boundaries being crossed etc... someone will inevitably, most likely, be disappointed in me... So, I engage in each and every situation in a way that ensures, that the person disappointed in me, NEVER ENDS UP BEING ME! I aim to never repress, never suppress. I aim to never lose parts of myself. Radical honesty only: 100% of the time. Always, all ways. AND REMEMBER: to test if ANY relationship is healthy - you've got to judge the relationship on its bad days, not on its good ones!

Thank you, I needed this video! I hope you're doing well <3

Steph, I love your channel. This was such an important video for me. I’m my own harshest critic and getting through grad school to become a licensed CMHC has been nothing short of extremely challenging. Looking forward to the series!

Thank you for this video! Sometimes I struggle with all of the reading in grad school and these types of videos really help me retain information better :)

As a Latina, these conversations are so normal in Latin families because we have a collective culture where there is no boundaries and no privacy 😂. But I constantly have these kind of conversations with my parents and my parents speak to me like Nancy’s mom speaks to her and I have brothers like her brothers.

This is super helpful. I am contemplating the online degree due to other priorities that also take time and effort. I will check out NCU too. The internship scares me a bit but it is something I can search for in advance too. Thanks for sharing your experience with us!!

Is no one going to talk about how toxic Paul's mother was to her own son. She told Micah he's dating someone else but I don't like it because if it's not you it shouldn't be anybody. She said I can break them up for you if you like. I just found that very toxic and I would hate if my mum behaved that way.

I’m late to watching this season. But I have to say, OMG! There was so much wrong in this season. So much toxicity. Yes, Cole was immature in some of the things he said, but realized afterwards that some of the things he said weren’t nice. But Zay, whew! When I say I see so much personality disorders going on there. Yikes. Borderline and narcissistic tendencies. That poor man didn’t know which way was up and which way was down when she got through with him. She eviscerated, annihilated Cole on the alter. You can’t tell me she did not do that on purpose. She had that planned. That was her ultimate revenge for all the “wrongs” she felt Cole had done to her. Bless her heart, attachment therapy mixed with CBT/DBT and psychoanalytic would be good for her. Those early traumas she didn’t work through are controlling her life. I really hope the cast watches the show, including After the Alter to come to a real assessment of them both. Zay did a bang up job villainizing Cole to the point she broke down his self-esteem, which is characteristic of narcissistic personality.

Beautifully explained

Just what I was thinking about today

I am taking my test on Wednesday - I was supposed to take it 3-4 years ago but I had my first stroke right before the exam and by the time I reapplied I hit covid (the test was the week after the stay at home announcement) then I had to make up hours and then had stroke 2,3, and 4 which left me rehabbing physically as I was left with the inability to write walk talk and etc,. Now I have difficulty with remember - I did TDC and it was kind of helpful but the voice is not as playful - and I need visual. I really like your tone of voice. Thank you for making these. I am 5 years in the making of taking this exam.

Hello❤

My avoidant ex is the love of my life. I can’t detach from him atm. So I’m working in love myself and learn to detach. Also why do I attract these men. I deleted everything. But the hope is still in my broken heart. And yes, he ruined my favourite artists and songs. Trigger is s soft word to what happens to my anxiety if I try to listen to any. 😢

Thank you for this informative VIDEO I busted to it

Awesome analysis! Everyone did the best they could at the time. Hindsight is 20/20. You did not comment on Chelsea changing from being hot with Trevor to then letting him go for Jimmy. I wonder if the triangle made each of them appear more attractive. Bringing children upfront is bilateral, you can disclose it and also each side can ask about it. This video goes into an amazing analysis. I like how the clips were included. I like how psychological distortions were pointed out. The contestants did awesome!! They were vulnerable and should be very proud of themselves. They helped so many of us learn more about relationships. Ultimately, people did not do anything wrong. When they find the right person they will be accepted and loved for who they are. ❤

I saw Zack and Bliss together from the very beginning, was crying 3 times, when he proposed to a wrong girl, when this girl said he has weird face (he is the cutiest, b@tch!), and when he proposed to the right girl. I liked only my third cry! ❤

GIRLLLL I’m watching the new season of Perfect Match on Netflix and it has members from love is blind and I immediately thought Steph gotta analyze this 😭🙌🏽

The social work ethics does stress not to share about your personal life

What does it mean when you have a love language like gifts, but struggle with receiving gifts? Or are particular about the types of gifts?

Interesting. My sister has fallen in love with her therapist. My friend and my Mother-in-law have often fell in love with their doctors. For my friend if the doctor is the same sex she will go on and on about how wonderful her doctor is but if it is a male doctor or vet she is in love. Very strange.

I’m learning more from your videos than I’ve learned from my professors. Studying for my exam and you are truly helping me. Representation matters.

I got my first Masters in Clinical Psych in 1989, and am now getting a second one in Mental Health Counseling. I am interested in the historical overview/development of thinking. In the 89 codependency was such a big deal, and in the 90's ACOA thinking- where has that gone and how did that build- or come from Family Therapy thinking. Trying to put the two parts of my life/education together. I absolutely love your videos. Thank You.

"I'm ok with them giving it another shot" After the way he treated her? girl seriously? 👎

i honestly think clay is bipolar

Can't stand stacy. She was definitely one of those catty mean girls in high school and it totally shows.

Take a mental Day for just you.

I didn't go through couple stuff, but I used to have these signs with my ex bff, glad I left her

I realize that I should feel distraught about the tragedy in my family but I literally feel nothing. In my head I know how terrible it is and I should be ashamed at having no reaction but I feel nothing.

A licensed what?

TBH I find Cole's way of unedited speaking completely refreshing. Too often we filter ourselves to make other people feel comfortable or at ease. How someone wants to interpret something is on them and says WAY more about them than the person saying it. Everything starts with the self. 💯

Please react to Inside Out 2 (and 1), and Perfect Match! Would Love your perspective

An example of 1st and 2nd order change: The problem--my garden hose is leaking. Ist order change=I tape it. It does not leak for 3 months and then starts leaking again. I tape it. It does not leak for 3 months and then starts leaking again. I tape it. It does not leak for 3 months and then starts leaking again. 2nd order change= I buy a new hose.

As a person with a realy seriouse type of BPD, I had my 'favourite person', who used to be my best and only friend for a 10 yeaes, and also the only real friend in my entire life, she was my one and only. And she currently went no contact with me just out of the blue, but our relationshipn started seriousely crusshing down this september, when she got traumatised by wittnessing my realy horrific mental breakdown that looked like a horror movie scene. And also I fucked up sooo many things between us, without being aware of it at the time... It was all my fault and now I feel super guilty, but also super angry at her, cause she never was nearly as 'nice' to me as she claimed she was. She told me that she forgave me for my past mistakes, but only by setting conditions for her forgiveness, WHICH I FOLLOWED RELIGIOUSLY, TO THE CORE! But then happened a mild inconcoveniance and misunderstanding that made her decide to just leave me out of the blue. I love her and hate her at the same time, both things feeling sooo fucking deeply strong at the same time. Right now, I am somewhere between stage of denial and anger, but sometimes I also experiance the stage of bargaining and deep depression as well, it is all mixed and fluid. Everything exapt the acceptance. Is there any chance for me to reach the stage of acceptance without dying before it happens? Someone please answer me?

I think you potentially did miss something with the conversation you mentioned at the start. My interpretation is that the reason she was upset in that conversation was because he was more bothered about the revelation from Jess than he was about hers. To her he has almost shut her revelation down as not a big deal. And he’s really rattled with Jess situation. It implies he more bothered by or invested emotionally in Jess.

Can you do perfect match 2 Jess from this season is on there

I think it’s okay to be childlike with your spouse and I couldn’t figure out how I felt about Laura telling Jess that I was kinda in the middle I think she was also friends with Chelsea so she was stuck in a hard place and the bean dip thing was so inappropriate ! My husband was like why is everything surrounded by AD like he couldn’t understand and my husband said all 3 Laura Jeremy and Sarah are all 3 the problem not one or the other even tho I like Laura she would not stop picking on Jeremy Jeremy being out with another women was the inappropriate thing that happened it’s an emotional affair and Sarah was wrong for reaching out to an engaged man

Kenneth could not get beyond her being white. Talk about racial preconceived notions!

Tip 3 hit extra on this re-watch☀️💐💗 tyty

Can you do Harry and Jessica from Perfect Match? Do you think Harry kissed Melinda?

Why do I hate seeing happy couples. I know that’s not right just makes me soooo sad my wife of 36 years passed 2 months ago

I feel like this guy is a liar

Dear Doctor, you can't even imagine how much in time I've got your video. THANK YOU. I really should stop torture my partner with questioning.. You are GREAT.

2024, hallo from 🇰🇪 Kenya, min 4:58 ,Diasociation is at the moment. Used to do alot of displacement defense mechanism.

I think I was knitting when the Megan Fox comment and remember looking up like hehn??? That is a BOLDDDDDDDDDDD Statememnt Sis. BBBOOOLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. The kind of statement you only say thank you to when someone ELSE says it about you. BOLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Anyway, I don't remember the MGK comment. Sis, you knew what you wanted to say. How you know MGK and not Megan? 🤣

PLEASE REVIEW BRIDGERTON

I appreciate you breaking down the steps! I'm almost done with my Bachelors son I still have a long way to go . I'm 53! woo chile😅😅

I love how you analyzed Izzy and Stacy's behavior towards Johnay. Definitely a messy and mean vibes couple. It was also very disappointing to see that it was not ddressed at the reunion. Great review!

The pants for Brett was not a red flag to me. I equate that with a bride's dress not fitting as it should. Both of them are exceptional green flags and I am so happy we got to witness their journey 😊